• Alicia Johnson

GUEST BLOG: A Blessing in Disguise

My divorce ended up being THE biggest blessing in my life.


Did she really just say that? Yes, yes I did. I 100% percent believe it, too. Before you go ranting about it, hear me out.


The D-word is seen as such a negative thing in society, and by those of faith as well. As kids, we grow up with this vision of what marriage is and will be like for us. Some of that comes from our own parents, some of it comes from our faith, and a lot comes from society in general. How many little girls dream up their picture-perfect wedding and happily-ever-after? Disney kinda fucked us up from the very beginning. How many relationships are truly like what you see in all those kids movies?


Because of the expectations that have been put on marriage, divorce has been seen as this horrible thing that should never happen. Firstly, never say never. Secondly, we are human beings who, by our very own nature, are constantly changing and evolving. The person you are now is not the same person you will be in 5 years (or even a year). Yet, you are supposed to be with this one person- only- for the rest of your life? In a perfect world, sure. But this world is far from perfect.


Now, I’m not saying I’m all for divorce. However, I do believe that it should be more openly accepted. I believe there are some legitimate reasons people should get divorced. My situation was one of them.


For those who don’t know, I married young. We were only 19. That, in and of itself, is not a recipe for disaster or divorce. The years that followed definitely were, though. When many think of abusive relationships, they think of physical abuse. They think of the bruising, the "unexplained" broken bones, etc. What people don’t often think of is the emotional, mental, and financial abuse that can take place right in front of our faces. Before I endured this type of abuse myself, I didn’t recognize the early signs of non-physical abuse either.


This abuse went on for a few years before I finally acknowledged that it was happening, and then even a bit longer before I made the decision that I needed to do something about it. It took even longer for me to take action and follow through on it. Even though he had never laid a hand on me, the fear of the repercussions of me even mentioning wanting to leave him were debilitating. Leaving that sort of situation goes beyond just knowing what you need to do.


Once I finally made the decision and things were final, that left me in THE scariest situation of my life. Here I was a young, newly-single mother of two young girls, living on my own for the first time in my life. It was no longer just about me. It was now about trying to provide for them, when before I hadn't controlled any of the finances and always had a second income.


Now, it was just me.


The years after that were long, but also a huge blur at times. I borrowed money from friends, family, and sought community assistance on a regular basis just to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table.


Those were the hardest years of my life, but I have made it through. Prior to, and during, my marriage I had no self-worth, very little self-esteem, was super shy and timid, and dealt with major anxiety, panic attacks, and zero confidence in who I was.

That girl is gone. That girl left when she was put through that terrifying struggle. In place of that girl is a strong, confident woman who is full of self-love, self-confidence, and self-worth! Beyond just that, those two little girls are now in college, doing what they desire.


If it were not for my divorce, I would not have experienced the struggles that built me up into the strong and empowered woman I am today.


You have two choices with the struggles you face. You can wallow in the rubble that is left, or you can use that rubble to build yourself up, better and stronger. The choice is up to you.


I chose stronger!


For more information on how you can turn your divorce into your biggest blessing, check out:

www.solomomstrong.com

IG: @iamempoweredunicorn

FB Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/solomomstrongcommunity

TT: @solomomstrong


About Alicia Johnson:


Being a solo mom was never the plan, but after an abusive marriage, it was the only answer. It wasn’t without years of struggle- mentally, emotionally, physically, financially- you name it. Being a single parent is not for the faint of heart, as you may well know!


Those years of struggle led me to the growth and skills that I now use to help other moms. I help exhausted, overwhelmed solo moms stop feeling so lonely and overwhelmed doing this all alone. I help with tools to create more time, while also decreasing stress. My signature "Shift Formula" teaches solo moms how to bridge those years of struggles in a much shorter amount of time.


Interested in working with me? I offer everything from short masterclasses, to group programs, and private 1:1 coaching to meet you where you are at. Not sure which one is right for you? Simply drop me a message at one of the links above.

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