• Lindsay

Can People Really Change?

Can people really change? If you had asked me that question a year ago, I would have said absolutely not. That's why I got a divorce- because I thought things would never change.


My mindset has completely shifted on this topic recently because of the own changes I've made in my life. I saw that I, myself, could change...so if I can do it, anyone can do it.


The trick is, though, you have to want to change.


No one can do the changing for you. And once you want it, you have to keep wanting it, because you will constantly have to check yourself to ensure you're not going back to your old ways.


It gets easier with time. As you adopt those changes and apply them daily, your new way of doing things starts overtaking the old ways. But there are still going to be times when challenges pop up and you have to stay committed to acting in a way that aligns with the positive changes you've made in your life.


It's been drilled into us that people don't change. Who you are is who you are. That mindset is false. If we can change in bad ways, then certainly we can change in good ways. It's not fair to say that someone is never going to change. You don't have to stick around to see whether or not they do- that's your choice. But it's also not fair to judge them so harshly and say it's never going to happen.


If my divorce has taught me one thing it's this: never say never.


What if we encouraged people to make positive changes in their life instead of beating them down and saying they can't do it? When someone believes in you, don't you feel more powerful? Like you can do anything you set your mind to? So, if we apply that same tactic to this scenario, then wouldn't someone be more likely to change if they are encouraged to do so in a positive way?


Instead of saying "You can't do it" how about we say "I know it's hard, but I believe in you".

I think coming to the realization that I am not perfect has really given me more empathy towards people who are struggling with change. It is not easy.


If you want grace in your own life, maybe you can spare a little for someone else, too?


Now I know that some people will never change. They don't want to. They have that whole "take it or leave it" type of attitude. With that, I say leave it. But if someone comes to you and says they want to change and they need your support on it, it might be worth giving it a shot. Show them a little support and see where it goes.


Is change possible? Absolutely? Is it hard? Absolutely. Is seeing someone change in a positive way and knowing you played a crucial role in that development life-changing? Absolutely.

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