• Leah Koskinen

GUEST BLOG: The Decision to Become a Stay-At-Home Mom

SAHM, working mom, SAHM, working mom (I’m picturing a flower, where the petals are getting pulled off one by one— “he loves me, he loves me not”).


Let me start by saying that it's the best decision my husband and I could have made for our family. I don’t regret the decision for one second. I wouldn’t be where I am today as a mom and a human without that decision, and honestly, where I’m at right now is pretty freaking awesome.


Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way (so to speak) lets talk about my truths, because it's not all sunshine and rainbows, and THAT'S OKAY.


I’m a super proactive type of person. Before I make any type of decision, no matter how big or small, I weigh allll the options. Get allll the opinions. Making the decision to potentially quit my job and stay home was a BIG one for me. I honestly never thought in a million years I would even be interested in the idea.


So, I talked to other SAHMs. I talked to working moms. And the ONE thing that was super consistent throughout and that stuck with me the most was:


SAHM: “I love being there for every milestone. I love that I get to raise my kids instead of a stranger doing it.”


WM: “There was definitely things I missed out on. Things I couldn’t commit to, and that was hard at times.”


Which are both super valid points. But looking back on it, there was only one point-of-focus, and that was either missing milestones or not. Of course, I didn’t want to miss the milestones.


Fast forward to now, here’s what I know. Being a SAHM is REALLY HARD. I wasn’t prepared. It was much more difficult for me than I anticipated. But again, I know I made the right decision.


And maybe I’d be saying the same thing if I ended up going back to work full-time. Who knows!


I’m all about lists and charts— specifically, in this case, a pros & cons lists.


Here’s a glimpse of what I needed 4 years ago, so maybe this will help you too. No sunshine and rainbows. No filter.


STAY-AT-HOME MOM PROS

— you don’t miss any milestones

— you get to raise your kids the way you see fit

— luxury of planning your days around your schedule

— you can stay in your PJs all day if you feel like it

— opportunity to create something for yourself (hobby, side gig)

— able to decrease stress of daily housework for partner

— more home cooked meals


STAY-AT-HOME MOM CONS

— you’re expected to be patient, kind and calm 24/7

— you can feel isolated from the world/other adults

— the days can feel really long

— miss accountability from someone else (co-worker, boss)

— loss of personal identity

— guilt of not bringing money in


WORKING MOM PROS

— you get to take a “break” from parenting 24/7

— you get to use your brain for more than kid talk

— adult interaction

— expressing creativity through work

— having a professional identity

— positive role model of what a woman can do


WORKING MOM CONS

— makes for long days because your second (and most important job) starts when you get home from work

— anxiety and/or guilt due to feeling like you’re missing out on kid time

— guilt burdening others with care

— always feeling behind

— the stress of having multiple jobs (mom, wife, career)


Being a SAHM was the right decision for our family. I’m here to give you real life. Not sway you in one direction or the other. If you need helping deciding/talking through which direction you want to take your life OR you’re already living in one of these worlds and need help navigating it, that’s exactly what I help my clients with! Check us out on Instagram @leah_kennie or feel free to email at heyitsyoursis@gmail.com

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