• Lindsay

My Whole Life Changed When I Stopped Judging People

I always thought I was a pretty open and accepting person. I have friends from all walks of life, and was raised to treat others with kindness. While I have never been rude or judgmental to someone's face, I'm not going to lie that I have certainly done it behind closed doors.

I'd say things like, "I'd never post something like that on social media" or "My kid would never behave like that in public" or "Can you believe they're getting a divorce? I knew they wouldn't last". Nothing overtly cruel, but still, I was judging others by voicing my opinion on their life- THEIR life.

That was until I felt the wrath of others judgement- first, when I became a mom. Second, when I got divorced. Most people were subtle about it, but everyone seemed to have an opinion. There's a big difference between giving advice and giving your opinion. Advice is asked for. An opinion is not. The difference between the two is where judgement lies.

I'm not saying you can't have your thoughts about things. That's what the First Amendment is for. What I am saying is that, unless you have something of value to add to the situation- something positive or some constructive criticism- it might be best to keep that opinion to yourself.

Once I stopped judging people- once I stopped wasting my energy quietly criticizing people- my life got so much better. I spent less time worried about what others were doing with their lives, and more time focused on enriching mine. I became more humble. More compassionate. More respectful. More thoughtful with my words. More empathetic overall.

I realized that I was judging people from my own insecurities. Most of us do, if we really want to be honest with ourselves. It took me literally losing everything- literally hitting rock bottom- for me to understand that judging people was hurting me more than it was ever hurting them.

How much better would the world be if we just stopped judging others? If we offered compassion to the tired, burnt out mother, instead of rolling our eyes because her kid is throwing a tantrum in public. If we gave someone a "like" on their social media post, instead of thinking they are just trying to show off. If we were to simply pray for those going through a divorce, instead of trying to find out all the dirty details about what happened.

I know my world got a whole lot better once I started supporting others, instead of judging them.

If you're looking for a supportive motherhood community to surround yourself with, I encourage you to join the new group I co-founded called "Mindful Mom Life". We are a judgement-free zone, because let's face it- motherhood is hard enough without having to deal with the haters on top of it all. If you'd like to join, go here to sign up. We would love to have you!

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