• Lindsay

The 5 Kinds of Guys You'll Find on Dating Apps

Updated: Mar 27

Oh, dating apps. Tinder, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, Bumble, Facebook Dating... the list goes on. In a world where mask-wearing is the norm and meeting someone at a bar or the grocery store is practically impossible because of social distancing, dating apps have become the go-to way to find a date. Before you create your profile, be prepared to find one- or all- of these types of guys on the app.


1. The Creeper

He slides into your DM's with a subtle "hey" at first. When you don't respond, he messages you again two days later. This time he's more forceful and poses a question, such as, "How's it going?" or "Any exciting plans for the weekend?". When you still don't respond, he really starts turning into a creeper and blows up your DM's with random, pointless, even downright rude comments until you finally block him. Phew...dodged a bullet with that one.


2. The Too-Nice Guy

This is the guy who has a serious case of low-self esteem so he tries to overcompensate by being incredibly nice to you. We all know that nice guys finish last, so this guy isn't getting anywhere with most of us. If he builds up a little confidence and keeps that nice personality of his, he'll find his dream girl eventually. Right now, he ain't it, though.

3. The Dom

We've all had one of these pop into our DM's. He's taken "50 Shades of Grey" quite literally and thinks all women want to be submissive to their man. I mean, some of us do enjoy that stuff in the bedroom, but the last thing we want to hear as a first greeting from a guy is whether or not we like wearing nipple clamps. How about you ask my favorite color first? And no, it's not red.


4. The Two-Monther

This guy can actually hold a conversation, so you give him your number after talking on the dating app for a few days. You eventually meet out and have a great time. You see a lot of potential with this one, but then he starts slowly ghosting you. You wonder if there's something wrong with you, but then eventually realize that this is his pattern. He meets girls online, dates them for a few months, and then ghosts them and moves on to someone else. Beware of this one, ladies. He'll sell you on a future only to waste your valuable time and leave you with nothing but a lesson.


5. The Unicorn

The one we've all been waiting for...the unicorn of dating apps. He's attractive, has a good job, doesn't have a ton of baggage, and can actually hold an intelligent conversation. He's almost too good to be true so you might shy away at first, frightened that he'll turn into another two-monther. And then he doesn't. He's actually who he says he is, and he sticks around. This, my friends, is the one you wait for. Guard your heart until you find him because I promise you, he's out there somewhere. He just might need to get divorced first. 😏

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