Why It's Okay to Be Selfish After a Divorce
Updated: Mar 27, 2021
Marriage is all about being a team and putting your partner's needs before your own. For better or worse, you're making a vow to love, honor, and cherish your spouse for life.
Divorce ends all that. You no longer have to put another person first (except for your children), and it leaves you with both a feeling of freedom and uncertainty.
It kind of feels wrong. You've spent your entire marriage planning on being in a partnership for the rest of your life and now you're flying solo.
At first, you might feel a little guilty doing things that you never would have done if you were still married. It feels foreign, and that's normal.
This is your time to do what YOU want to do. You don't, quite frankly, have to answer to anyone. Not everyone is going to like the choices you make, but guess what...it's your life.
You don't owe anyone anything. Until you make a commitment to someone again, you are free to do whatever you want, whenever you want.
Not having someone to answer to can also be a dangerous thing. All of that newfound freedom can put you at risk of making some unwise decisions. Now it's up to you to check yourself.
Unfortunately, not everyone is going to agree with you during this selfish period in your life. You might lose friends and lovers. In fact, you should expect to. That's not necessarily a bad thing.
By putting yourself first, you're going to weed out the people with an agenda. The people who you no longer serve a need for because you refuse to put yourself on the back burner any longer will leave. That's a win, not a loss.
This is the one time in your life when it's okay to be selfish. You've put everyone else first for so long, now it's your turn.
You'll be sad at first when the people who you thought were down for you walk out the door, but after awhile you'll realize that it was actually a blessing.
So work the job you want to work. Date who you want to date. Live where you want to live. This is YOUR life. This is YOUR moment. This is YOUR second chance. Don't let the naysayers take that away from you. Be selfish. It's okay.